Recently I have come to see my own depravity with certain things, not in a new light, but with a certain consistency and depth
As I mull over these things, I find the false humility waiting there to further expose my pride. It seems I can’t catch a break at all. I recall Martin Luther saying our entire life is that of repentance (or all of life is repentance).
My mind races to a story I have been coming across frequently – the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-31 and Matt 19:17-30, and the phrase that keeps coming to convict and encourage me is this:
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (ESV)
Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” (MSG)
The truth is this phrase tires me out for I often do not know when I cross from depending on him to the prideful disposition of “I gat this”
I find that as I submit and grow in an area, and the wheels seem to be moving in the right direction, I often find that I want to run the show, and so often I find myself facing my (too) familiar depravity. and here’s the kicker…sometimes I knowingly embrace that depravity…Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me
While there is certainly a side of “owning” your journey, I do realize, it can never be done by your strength, and a coming to the end of yourself is required. You simply do not have what it takes to make “this” work out
And so I am coming to understand that I must see my own selfishness and sins as being more important than that of anyone else I am relating to. Indeed all of life is repentance, and I must regularly film my mouth with the bread of my sins, in confession to my King
And so as I recall Jesus’ famous words of “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”, I am encouraged.
Thank you Abba for being so, so merciful and loving. Words fail me to express my vastly insufficient gratitude for your grace. Thank you for being so willing to step into my world and be a part of this unworthy space.
As he so often does, I found God winking at me with this quote from Jerry Bridges:
To preach the gospel to yourself … means that you continually face up to your own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through faith in His shed blood and righteous life. It means that you appropriate, again by faith, the fact that Jesus fully satisfied the law of God, that He is your propitiation, and that God’s holy wrath is no longer directed toward you.” “This is the gospel by which we were saved, and it is the gospel by which we must live every day of our Christian lives. … If you are not firmly rooted in the gospel and have not learned to preach it to yourself every day, you will soon become discouraged and will slack off in your pursuit of holiness.”
Thank you Abba!